Due to technical difficulties of a Very-Nicole nature, posts will be continuing at my previous blog:

Nicole Nevermore
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Follow the fireflies

I believe that life is a path. You either move forward or you get left behind but nothing is ever static. There is no park bench on the path to life that you can get comfortable on and feed peanuts to squirrels. It’s just not the nature of life. Your path doesn’t look like mine, and my path doesn’t look like that other guy’s, but we are all united in this one commonality: Life goes on and you either go on with it, or you get left behind. That may seem like a dismal outlook on life, but I optimistically offer one other thing I have observed on my path. It’s never too late to start moving forward, no matter how long you’ve been falling behind. Furthermore, I’d say that the sooner you get moving, the quicker you’ll realize you were farther ahead on your path than you thought. 

I began this blog a month ago with a clear vision of where I was going, but simultaneously had no idea at all. What I knew for sure was that I was going to stop being afraid, and stop telling myself “No” out of fear. If you’ll permit me some mystical woo for a moment here, I trusted fully that, by making it known to Life that I was ready to start saying “Yes,” opportunities for growth would present themselves to me. Dams would begin bursting, and invitations to expand my life would come flooding in. 

My first step was into a big ol’ mud puddle of possibility and I quickly learned that I swim much better than I thought in some areas, but sink like a bowling ball in others. What I didn’t anticipate, however, was how quickly I would catch on to some heavy hints life was dropping for me.  Areas on my path began to glow with swirling fireflies, while others filled with pricker bushes as a warning that this was not where I was meant to go. I’m not so sold on the idea of saying “Yes” that I would march into a situation I could clearly see wasn’t for me, so the process of having a Big Life has shifted from focusing on “Yes” and instead, committing myself to bravely follow the fireflies. 

A month ago, I thought I needed to explore everything and experience anything to live my life. Perhaps I did need to go about it this way at first to properly orient myself to the way my path will speak to me.  It may be wise of me to consider the month of January a crash course in life. What I have learned is that my Big Life is guided, and I don’t need to flail about looking for direction. As I observe the parts of my path that are being highlighted, I’m getting a much clearer vision of where to step next.

Being who I am, I regularly take a moment to look back and see how far I’ve come. I chuckled when I realized how far back fireflies have lit my path, showing me where I’m meant to travel. My eyes were shut too tightly to see what has been right in front of my the whole time. It doesn’t do any good to berate myself for time lost, because I’m not lost, and I’m not late. I’m exactly, perfectly, on time. Years have passed since I stopped moving, but it took one month of one-step-at-a-time for me realize I’m exactly where I was meant to be. I caught up, and caught on, and now I can keep moving from here. 

There’s such peace that comes with knowing how to move forward. There’s rejuvenation in leaving the things that have weighed me down along side the path, refusing to let them hinder me for another step. I am scared—oh man, am I scared!—because sometimes the light is so bright, it’s like looking into the sun. But that fear is good. That fear means I’m still alive and I’m still reaching forward with my hands and my feet and my heart. I’m moving, and that's what it means to have a big life.